The God of Sedgwick Hill

I've found the actor to play the role of the gorgeous Jesse Sharpe in my novel 'Sway'! I discovered Mark Coles Smith when watching the brilliant, way-too-short mini-series, 'The Gods of Wheat Street'. Like my beloved Jesse, he's an indigenous Aussie who lives in a small town, is pretty good at footy and is interested in a girl who just happens to be white. Both of them, coincidentally, have nice muscles too. (Don't blame me, the character wanted to have definition in his arms and chest).

Tristan, in 'The Gods of Wheat Street', played by Coles Smith, is, (just like his siblings and nieces), named after a god, giving him something incredible to live up to. The tenuous link here is that Jesse is one of the popular 'gods' who walks the halls of Sedgwick Hill High... Except that now he's unsure as to whether he actually likes any of his mates! His life is changing, making him second guess his choices.

Although I couldn't find the perfect actor to play Jesse's role in the future hypothetical movie of 'Sway' until I stumbled upon Tristan, he was already partially based on a boy I knew (at least on a surface level) in high school. He was good looking and popular... And he made jokes about aboriginal people - for the entertainment of the whites who'd laugh, assuring him he was 'one of the good ones'. Quiet little observant me would sit in the corner and wonder how he really felt about all of it. Did he feel terrible inside for bad-mouthing his own people, or did he really think the things he said were funny? I'd never really know. I could only speculate. That's the joy of writing fiction and he was partly my inspiration for Jesse (who decided at one point in the writing process that he wanted to be aboriginal, by the way).

So Mark Cokes Smith, if you're out there - there's your motivation for the role. I bet you'll drop everything to star in the movie of my as-yet-unpublished-but soon-to-be self-published masterpiece. You won't get paid much, if anything at all, but I'm sure you don't mind, as you're a true artiste!

Thanks for putting a face to the name of my own fictional god.

Hot and Cranky Writing Roundup for 2015

I'm hot and cranky. I was hot and relatively happy until I discovered my blog post draft had disappeared. It was just the intro, but it was a good one. Or was it? Maybe this rambling one is better. Anyway, it was the foreword to a list of stuff I've learned (sometimes the hard way) through working intensely on my novel this year. Enough banter though - let's get on with it. It might even take my mind off my heat (stress?)-induced headache.

1. Next time I'm going to devise a more  detailed outline of my novel before barrelling in. I wrote up a brief one, which is better than nothing, but I then took many detours that resulted in rejected chapters. (not deleted chapters, mind you, just chapters cut for length and subsequently placed into my 'director's cut' files). The detours are part of the fun; they've helped me discover the story I actually wanted to write. I welcome detours, but too many can result in hundreds of hours of writing all typed in vain.

2. This is kinda related to point one - try not to delve into the deeper lives of too many characters. The aforementioned rejected chapters could've been avoided if I'd focused on just one or two characters. Sometimes these figments of your imagination become like friends to you though, and you're compelled to tell their stories. It is useful to know the backstories of any significant characters, but still, dot points may have been sufficient. 

3. Don't let anyone read your story until it's at least 95% complete. I learned this tough lesson on a previous project actually - I received some constructive feedback that inspired me to alter a few major story elements in order to align with the readers' wishes. I ended up regretting the changes I'd made, resulting in my loathing the novel-in-progress and deserting the book. Doesn't mean I can't return to it one day, but still. Be patient. Wait before handing over your baby.

4. Expect to do a lot of re-writing. The first draft is merely the tip of the iceberg. I probably take this recommendation way too far, working towards the unattainable perfect manuscript. Still, it's better than phoning it in! 

5. I watched a lot of YouTube videos on writing this year, as well as reading a deluge of online articles on the topic. Most of the gurus agreed that you shouldn't edit as you go. Ideally I would get the germ of the idea on the page in one hit, before tweaking anything. I don't know if I'll ever do this though. I'm kinda married to the idea of editing as I go. I'm one of those freaks who love editing and proof reading, and besides, it's a magnificent procrastination tactic. I can still work on the novel without actually contributing new content that might suck!

  

6. I must give myself props where props are due: this year I developed the delicious habit of being addicted to writing. My social media writing mentors, such as K.M. Weiland and Jenna Moreci stressed the importance of writing every day. It's true what they, and countless others say: after a while of writing every day, it becomes a compulsion. On the days I couldn't or wouldn't write, I was kinda pissed off at myself and the world. Acquiring a gorgeous laptop helped me on my mission, as did seeing the incredible achievements of friends and family (often younger than me.) I'm not getting any younger. My dream of writing a novel of publishable standard is not to be put off any longer!

7. I've always kept drafts, but I don't know if all writers do. Many cringe over old writing, putting it through the shredder/in the fireplace/ scattered to the four winds. I say, hold onto a few drafts. I thoroughly enjoyed reading an early twenty-page draft of my current WIP, written in days of yore. It illustrated for me how much the story has changed and evolved since then. It was another reason to get all self-congratulatory for sticking with the task! Besides, they might be worth something when I'm posthumously famous! 

8. Don't be afraid to promote yourself and your work. It's frightening, sure, but anything worth doing is. Not everyone's going to love your work, or even bother to read it (close friends and family included), but it wouldn't be fair to deprive those who might read, and even enjoy, your writing now, would it? One mummy friend and I used to discuss nothing deeper than the cuteness of our kids and tasty recipes, but a piece I wrote and shared on my Facebook writing page opened up more meaningful dialogue between us. It was exciting for me, and encouraging too. You might be surprised as to who gets something out of you baring your soul. 

9. Read your work aloud. Read it quietly. Put it aside, then get it out again. Looking over your writing with fresh eyes helps with self-editing. I enjoyed reading my work when I was no longer going cross-eyed from looking at it too much. I congratulated myself (again) on how funny my dialogue is. It gives me hope. Even if I'm the only one to really appreciate my novel, it still makes me super happy! (Bonus part is, a couple of other people like it too!)

10. Last but not least, keep updating your blog even when it's depressing 'cause nobody looks at it. Keep improving your craft in the hope that people will start to take notice. It's disheartening when your audience drops off, but I intend to keep plugging away. At worst, it's fun and useful for me to look back on later. And hey, who knows when the tide'll turn! As Journey would say (because journey is more important than destination), Don't Stop Believin'!

The Invisible Writer (a.k.a: 'Look, it's a kitten on a skateboard!')

Having thoroughly enjoyed another life drawing class last night, I began thinking about the instant gratification that comes from visual art, as opposed to writing. Visual art can be assessed by the viewer in the swiftness of a glance. If I've done a decent job of drawing a brave naked person, I will be complimented. It's so much better for the ego than writing.

In these fast-paced times, a well-orchestrated sketch can still attract the attention of busy, over-informed, stressed humans. Writing however, demands so much more from the consumer. It takes time and effort to read something; there are so many other things vying for one's attention: shopping lists, enrolment forms, the car manual and that neat story on Facebook about beautiful child stars who later became ugly. 

Heck, sometimes I think I should give up this fruitless writing bizzo and just share photos of cute kittens tripping over themselves. People would actually look at those. 

I used to share my writing on redbubble.com, where they'd actually plead with viewers to take time to read some amazing poetry, short stories and the odd limerick as well as checking out the visual art. Even as a writer, I had to force myself to do this - I mean, there's no guarantee that you're going to like what you read. What if you lose ten minutes out of your day to something that doesn't rock your world? 

I shared my photography and drawings as well as my writing. Maybe I stumbled upon an effective way of getting people to read my stuff - they'd like what they instantly saw of some of my drawings or photography and were moved to delve further. Or maybe redbubble garnered sympathy for us poor overlooked writers.

I've spent years on my novel, 'A Fine Invention' (working title) and maybe it's  all in vain. All those nights spent staring at my laptop (or in the old days, my desktop) could've been spent making money by returning to my Tupperware gig, or watching more movies (I still haven't seen 'Top Gun') or being more sociable, like a well-adjusted normal person. 

The writing I spent my time, heart and energy on that I post on here doesn't garner much attention. Meanwhile, the odd post of a sketch that I share gets plenty of views. (Not likes, just views. I really should buy a puppy, make it wear costumes and photograph it). Yes, I put effort and heart into my drawings but writing is my first love, creatively speaking. 

It can be disheartening. But I can't think about my ego, as difficult as that is. Praise is wonderful. Being noticed for my creative endeavours is addictive. Still, I intend to 'Keep Calm and Continue to Write' because it's my passion. I can't improve my writing skills by giving up on writing. If people aren't taking time out of their day to read my stuff, then that just means I've got to step up my writing game. 

I love life drawing classes. Anything that massages the creative temples is worth doing, even crucial to living a fulfilling life, if you ask me. It's a lot more sociable than writing, and so relaxing. There's nothing quite like sitting in a room with other creative people, playing with light and shadow while enjoying a glass of wine. It's all part of my ultimate goal - to experience more life and art in order to strengthen my writing. 

So I'm going to leave my ego at the door and keep on keeping on. Because I'm not Kim Kardashian; I'm a writer. I owned the title once I created a Facebook page titled 'Michelle Ham - Writer.'

So just watch me (or ignore me, whatever) while I write my little heart out. You never know, there might even be a piece about adorable kittens clumsily trying to roller skate (accompanied by video). Watch this space.

Introducing Saskia

As the tome lies in the hands of a couple more readers, I lie in wait for the feedback. I'm not even nervous about it this time. I think having shared it around a bit already, I'm used to putting a piece of my heart and soul out there. Just goes to show you can grow accustomed to anything. Now I'm just excited to hear back from the readers, and grateful to them for taking time out of their busy lives to look it over. 

No rest for the wicked, so now to interview the protagonist: the star of the story, Saskia Brookes.

Me: 'So what did you get up to at the weekend, Saskia?'

Saskia: 'Not a lot. There was homework, Youth Group, church - morning and evening services, door-knocking for Red Cross and I worked on my cross-stitch. I hope to achieve more next weekend.'

Me: 'That sounds like a lot - how do you find time for friends and perhaps dating?'

Saskia: 'I've been praying a lot in the hope that I can find my purpose in life - whether that is to be healer, prophet or what, I don't know. If I'm dedicated enough, I might hear God talk to me. Then I'll have a vision of the one I'm destined to marry. A shortcut though, would be for him to just have the vision of me. That'd be quicker. He's already amazing enough to be properly tuned into The Man Above, after all. Um, oh, sorry. I mean... Hypothetically speaking. Eliza is about the only friend I can fit into my schedule, and dating... Isn't that something people in American movies do?'

Me: 'Woah. You have someone in mind then?'

Saskia, blushing: 'No. I mean, maybe. Of course it's not for me to try to predict who God has in mind for me, it's just... Some prayer at my end might steer Him in the right direction. Wait, that sounds terrible. Scrap that bit. You know, I'm doing a bunny cross-stitch right now. Once it's done I might sew it to a cushion. I don't know though, maybe that's lame...'

Me: 'I interviewed Eliza a few weeks back. She didn't seem the cross-stitch type. What do you two do when you hang out together?'

Saskia: 'Um... I haven't seen a lot of her lately but we have a blast together - we like to watch Rage and make fun of the film clips. She loves dress-ups and wigs, so we usually have these whacky fashion parades, along with my little sister. Then they dance to some kinda music that Eliza hates but Lexie loves while I catch up on my cross-stitch. Well, that's what used to happen, at least.' *shrugs*

Me: 'You miss hanging out with her?'

Saskia: 'It's fine, really. I mean, I'm following the path God has in mind for me, so that's the most important thing. It's like in Proverbs 3:6 - 'Let God direct your steps.' I'm not too good at deciphering these directions yet, but I trust I'll get there. As soon as I'm given a map.'

Me: 'Right. What will you do if you don't get a map?'

Saskia: 'I'll get a map, okay? (Huffy now) I can be patient. It's a metaphorical map, by the way. You know that, right?'

Me: 'I know that, I just wondered-'

Saskia: 'I don't have time for this. I need to feed the neighbour's cat, edit the church newsletter, make a care package for my sponsor child and bake some goodies for the Youth Group's Progressive Dinner tonight. Oh and I'll have to whip up something for the main too - Monique's sick.'

Me: 'Sorry, I'll let you be on your way. Thanks so much for your time.'

Saskia: 'No, I'm sorry. I was out of line. Want to come along to the Progressive Dinner tonight?'

Me: 'No thanks, that's fine.'

Saskia: 'Maybe you'd like to come along to the evening service next Sunday? It's quite fun and loose, I think you'd like it.'

Me: 'Okay, Progressive Dinner it is.'

Saskia: 'Great! See you tonight. We meet at the church. See you later!' *rushes off*

The Church of Book Sniffers

Theres something about bumping into someone who's had a similar epiphany to me. Nothing turns acquaintances into friends more quickly than having shared a similar, unique experience. I don't think becoming disillusioned with knob jockeys disguised as Christians is truly unique, but finding others to discuss it openly with seems strangely unique. For the most part, most people I know are either religious, or puzzled as to why anyone would ever voluntarily be religious. There's also that group that don't give two hoots but they're technically religious for traditional, superstitious or social purposes.  

Me: I was in it for all the right reasons, I believe. I wanted to be close to God, to follow my purpose and to raise my children 'right'. I wanted to believe that I was immortal.

The major thing me and my friend have in common is that we became fed up with being treated like moronic children who had no hope of doing anything useful with our lives. Or at least, not achieving anything worthwhile unless we adhered to their distinct, unique set of rules.

One of my faults was that I wasn't  attending church often enough. I was eventually informed that 'babies need to wean in order to grow' or something like that, and that the only way to grow in God is to spend every spare moment at the church. To me, it was a cult, in retrospect. Modern churches can't possibly have the whole congregation co-habiting commune-style, so the next best thing is to have members neglect their own lives and earthly families in order to serve the church. When we failed to do that, we fucked with their system. (Hurrah to that!)

Yes, I say fuck now and yes, it is in direct rebellion towards the church. Not because I'm badass, but because the world is in such peril that me cursing is the least of its problems. And don't give me that sympathetic 'You're lost and you're going to hell' look either!

I think us reformed Christians are reluctant to discuss our situations because a) it seems disrespectful to our loved ones who faithfully follow God and b) we feel, perhaps, that we failed somehow, and c) most talk is cheap and small. 

I'm at the point where I don't feel I failed, I feel I overcame! If only certain Christians could realise their own failings; that in their heroic bids to keep us heretics on the straight and narrow, they often push us away.

Some of us question authority. Some of us get divorced. Some of us have babies out of wedlock. Some of us are gay. Some of us even swear! We're human. It's nice for us to find a like-minded humans who perhaps still honour God but have decided church is toxic.

I look forward to a cuppa and a bitch with this lady. At least I can admit I bitch about things sometimes. Some people don't want you to do grown-up things like bitch about your sitch or just fucking swear. Do it anyway. If you want to. You're a grown up; it's your choice.

I've weaned, but not in the way they would've liked. Now I attend the church of 'standing in the street, talking to someone who totally gets you.' It's like when you find a group of writers who love non-supernatural young adult fiction/vintage clothing/musical theatre/80s music/sniffing books/clothes dryer fluff/Degrassi. It's finding that seemingly non-existent niche and feeling like you have comrades.

That's one cult I'd consider going all communal for.

Waggin' Tongues

I read a lot of writing advice articles and listen to a lot of podcasts on the topic too. In fact, I'm kinda obsessed. It's my Candy Crush, I guess you could say. A few of these vlogs and blogs suggested reading the dialogue you've written out loud to make sure it flows well and sounds natural.

Now that 1 1/2 beta readers have given me feedback on my manuscript, (beta two is on the case) I'm concentrating on doing just this. I have tweaked a lot of dialogue as a result. I've read over the manuscript so many times that I can't bring myself to look at anything BUT the dialogue!

Being a fan of Gilmore girls, I have a thing for long, wordy, humouros dialogue. It doesn't always work though. I go by the general rule that if I get tongue-tied while reading it aloud, I may need to re-think it. Plus, I leave that sort of dialogue to Saskia and Eliza, the two smartest characters in the book. Being besties, they almost have their own unique language that no one else could quite fathom. (A bit like Lorelai and Rory? Maybe.)

A lot of the culling has consisted of removing a whole bunch of 'g''s. See, some characters enjoy 'goin' down the pub and 'avin' a piss-up, maaate.' These characters live in a small Australian town; they can't all be masters of the spoken word! I'm allowed to say this, bein' from Swan 'ill and still speakin' that way 'alf the time!

Reading my work aloud makes me feel closer to the work and the characters.  I almost feel like I can imagine the novel as a movie when I act it out - it's exhilarating! 

I do feel a bit silly if my husband or kids enter the room while I'm technically talking (often arguing) with myself, but that's okay. I just keep on truckin' and censor the swearing if the littl'uns are present!

One of my online writing advisors recommended drinking tea and sucking lozenges as you read aloud. It's great advice - it's amazing how quickly the voice starts to falter when you're literally speaking for everyone.

Dialogue is what I do best, so using this technique to make it even better is my new favourite thing. And if it does become a screenplay one day, then the actors might appreciate the work I put in!

Well, I'm off to wash some dishes. I'm quite good at that too, since I started listening to writing podcasts while I scrub.

Introducing Eliza

One of my favourite aspects of writing a novel is creating characters and witnessing their respective evolutions. When a character takes hold, he or she seems to magically take on a life of their own and start doing unexpected, delightful (and sometimes dastardly) things. They take detours and make decisions and its like I'm just watching everything unfold. It's the absolute best. 

For fun, I thought I'd introduce you to one of the main characters in my book, namely the zestful Eliza Garrett.

She feels like being interviewed actually. She gets in these demanding moods and you don't cross her when she gets like that. You don't cross her at all.

I'm not nuts, I swear. Although, if interviewing a fictional character from your own imagination is nuts, I have little to no interest in being sane. So here goes:

Let's start with the big question - what's the meaning of life, Eliza?

'How in the Sam hell would I know? I'm eighteen (almost) and I haven't been anywhere. I used to think God was It, but I was just a kid then. I needed something to believe in. Now I'm all about collecting wigs and partaking in horror movie marathons. I find Wiccan stuff interesting, but it doesn't mean it's the meaning of life. Life is something to discover, not to claim absolute knowledge of.'

What are your future aspirations? 

'Shitloads of travel. A global wig empire.'

Who are the most important people in your life?'

'My outcast friends are my family. Especially Saskia and her biological family. My mum's okay but she's more like a deranged housemate than a mum. Little brother? Well, I worry about him. That must mean I care? Don't tell him I said that!'

What kind of guy do you like?

'Why do you assume I'm heterosexual? I mean, I'm hopelessly heterosexual but it hardly excuses your line of questioning. My ideal guy would be a drummer in a heavy metal band, yet have a penchant for watching Knight Rider with me. He'd also tour a lot so he wouldn't be in my face all the time.'

Do you enjoy being a goth girl? 

'Holy ShitakeMushrooms, I'm no goth! I like black leather and lace, big deal! If you wanna know what real goths are, you should interview my mates David and Lance. Actually, don't do that. I don't want to inflict you upon people I actually like.'

 

What's been the most challenging thing you've faced in life?

'There's been a lot of shit go down in my life but it could be worse. I haven't been accosted by an axe-wielding cannibal. Yet. There's still time. I call the shots in my life though, so just let him or her (equally opportunity murdering and all) try!'

Have you ever been in love?

'Right, I've answered enough inane questions to last me until the Year 2000 so I'll kindly bid you adieu. Whoever you are.'