I must say, though, I think rather than helping me 'find my voice' or improve my voice, the course encouraged conformity. Not in political opinion or dress sense, as most of the students were fairly 'out there', (which I loved) but in writing style. I wasn't as good a writer as all the other more intellectual, cultured students, I believed. I was probably right on that count but the thirty-something Mish cringes at what I did to remedy the situation: I started to mimic their edgy writing styles. Soon came an award; something equivalent to the 'Most Improved' trophy I won in netball a few years prior, the main difference being that the other writers didn't mock me for it. (I hate to stereotype, but in my experience, writers are more sensitive than netballers).
It confirmed my suspicions: I could only be a quality writer if I copied others. When a visiting author asked the group what their ambitions were, one person answered, 'To write the Great Australian Novel.' A few other people echoed her sentiments. I hate to admit it, but I gave the same answer, even though I had no interest in reading a 'Great Australian Novel', let alone writing one. I was born to write Young Adult. Contemporary, humorous, romantic YA novels. The shame! (So perhaps my answer was honest, if you regard 'Queen Kat, Carmel and St. Jude' as a Great Australian Novel).
I truly believe I learned more valuable writing lessons by doing volunteer freelance work for a variety of magazines and online publications, as well as paid work (Alas, that was temporary). The word limits and guidelines meant that I had to be clear and concise with my words. I had to narrow my ramblings down to a core message. It helped me uncover my voice, as did allowing myself to write countless drafts! It probably helped that I was older and more confident in myself by that stage too. I knew where my strengths lay. I still found inspiration in the work of other writers, but I no longer yearned to replicate their style.
I'm glad that I finally embraced my voice. I don't know if voice is something to be found or something that is always there, if only you take hold of it. I tend to believe the latter. My kind of writing is not everyone's cup of tea, nor should it be. I was born to do it and I know some of the people will like it. As for those who don't, I'm still glad of my 100,330 words because they're mine. I'm not trying to be John Green or Rainbow Rowell. I'm just doing my best to give a piece of myself and tell a good yarn while I'm at it.
My novel may not equate to anyone's idea of 'The Great Australian Novel', but that's okay. I'm gunning for 'The Kick-ass Global Novel' anyway!
Formal learning is a great thing, but getting down in the trenches really tests your mettle. Maybe I'll never receive another cent for my writing, but I'll be damned if I'm not going to embrace my passion anyway. Volunteer, practice, improve yourself, read, and most importantly, bloody well write!
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