A Toy Story

Today I have been wistful, thinking of unfulfilled dreams of the past... the things I always wanted but never managed to capture. Like a beautiful rainbow in the sky, or a bird on high - you just can't get your bleedin' hands on them. What am I on about?

The wide array of toys that I desperately wanted as a child and was not given! Either through fate or sheer bad luck, I couldn't possess these coveted items.

Seriously though, I did all right as a kid. I got lots of cool stuff. I wanted everything I saw, just like most kids, but I didn't get everything I wanted. I believe this built character in me. When I did get a new doll, toy or book, I was often so excited that I was almost sick. Literally. How many of today's kids would be able to truthfully claim the same in future? I remember how complete my life felt when I got my grubby little hands on the She-ra and Beau figurines; when I unwrapped my beloved Cabbage Patch kid in the Christmas of 1985; when I got the Punky Brewster showbag, complete with her style of hair ties and ankle scarf (gotta have an ankle scarf); and when I got that book about some girl named Debbie doing ballet classes for one of my birthdays. It was pure magic. Buying a book from the school's book club was unbelievably exciting. Even when the book was a bit dull.

Still - there were plenty of bright, shiny playthings that I lusted over as only a little girl in the 80s can!

There were elusive Rainbow Brite dolls, the 'My Little Pony' collection, Care Bears, the Alf stuffed toy, the Punky Brewster doll (although even then I thought it looked a bit crap), Jem dolls (ditto, they looked a bit crap too) Barbie campervans, dream houses and the like; the ET stuffed toy, the Popple... the dolls my friend so kindly Googled for me today because I couldn't recall the name of them - Rigadoon puppet dolls!

Phew, there were heaps, and obviously I haven't forgotten about them! I was definitely not hard done by. I had a 'My Child' doll, a 'Snugglebumm' (only in the 80s), a Viewfinder and a toy broom for sweeping pesky kids from my cubby house... I couldn't complain. On top of that, I had access to some cool toys traditionally set aside for boys, due to my three brothers' existence - the He Man gang, 'matchie' cars, army men - all great stuff!

I still can't complain, because now I have two daughters of my own. Living vicariously is delectable. I bought my 3.5 year old an old school My Little Pony from a collectibles shop (so much cuter than the modern, puncy looking ones who curl their hair). We read my old 'Jem and the Holograms' story book now and then, building up to her 'need' for some Jem dolls. My latest scheme is to buy a Rigadoon puppet doll or two - for the girls, of course! I've only just begun... as long as I can continue to steer my eldest away from those hideous Horror High School dolls, we might get somewhere.

My unfulfilled dreams of the past are not so unfulfilled after all... and I have the bonus of falling in love with new toys and shiny doo-dads that my daughters introduce me to, namely (at this stage), the Disney princesses (including their movies, soundtracks and merchandise). I'm just an oversized kid, really. The things I always wanted but never managed to capture are getting closer now - like a beautiful rainbow in my hands, and a bird caught in my trap!

So tell me... which toys did you always yearn for and never have?

Chalk and Cheese

The phrase 'chalk and cheese' gets bandied about a fair bit, but it's an apt description when referring to our daughters. I would say that one takes two steps forward, while the other takes two steps back, and that they come together 'cause opposites attract, but that would be stealing from Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat.

I love the contrast between our babies. Sienna has fair skin, blue eyes and light brown hair, whereas Ashy has fair-to-middling skin, brown eyes and blonde hair. Sienna is small and petite, whereas Ashley is already sporting the outfits Sienna only grew out of a few months back. Their physical traits, however, are only the tip of the proverbial iceberg when it comes to the degree of difference between the two beauties.

Sienna is a delicate little flower, who eats like a lady (when she's not too hyper), loves dolls and reading, sings like an angel, produces dozens of excellent masterpieces each day, and enjoys watching movies from beginning to end. She covers her ears and runs from the room screaming whenever the TV comes on too loud.

Ashley is the instigator - she throws her food all over the floor, goes surfing on her ride-on car and rocking horse, splashes the whole room when in the bath (thus encouraging her older sister to follow suit), and pretty much ignores the TV in favour of playing with the audio equipment, set-top box and DVD player. If we tell her off, she grins with relish. She firmly believes that any publicity is good publicity, I reckon.

Sisters - can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em!

Ashley's only 15 months old, so of course she'll become a little more refined in her actions over the years, but I think it's pretty safe to say, she's the social animal - the little rebel!

Our visit to the Ballarat show on Sunday really illustrated their differing personalities well. Sienna was too scared to go on any rides. She played a couple of games, where she went fishing for duckies or netting for fish, but just looking at the clowns freaked her out (of course, she wouldn't be the first person to fear the dreaded clowns). She hated the noise. She covered her ears and looked quite distressed after being in the loud area for a while. We had to move to the pavilion, where it was nice and civilised, and a lot more quiet. She also enjoyed hearing the band play the Mary Poppins soundtrack while about a dozen other (grown up) people watched on in appreciation.

Ashley... well, none of it phased her one bit! I think she would've climbed into the clowns' mouths, given half a chance!

I'm forever picturing what our darlings will be like in the future. After telling friends and family these adorable stories, I vowed to keep a record of these predictions so that I can look back and check their accuracy in years to come!

So here goes, let me look in to my imaginary crystal ball: Hmmm. I'm seeing them at the show. They're in their teen years now (Boo hoo). Ash is on the wild, sick-making rides with her wild, sick-making friends. Meanwhile, Sienna strolls along over in the civilised pavilion, judging the cakes with her slightly more senior  friends from the CWA. She's wearing a lovely rose pink, feminine dress, kind  of like the one she wore to the show as a little girl.

Of course, afterwards they'll meet up in the show bag arena to stock up and share stories, because they might be different, but they're the best of friends as well as sisters. Awww. Watch this space to see if it comes true!

I've been saying for a while that I can envision a typical Saturday night at our house. I reckon Sienna will be quite content to watch a movie with her old Mum and Dad, but Ash - she'll probably be gearing up to sneak out of her room later that night, despite being grounded, in order to attend some kick-ass party that she just can't afford to miss. Of course, we will follow her there and bring her straight home, and she'll be remorseful! She might just be less excited about staying home with us is all...

They compliment each other, and bring out the best and worst in each other. Like most sisters, they love and adore one another, while also infuriating each other no end.  I'm so glad they have each other, that we have them, and they have us. One says 'tomato' and the other says... well she kinda just says, 'beleurgher ger heh' (because she hasn't got a hold on the English language yet) and that's part of why they (now) get along so well (most of the time).

Whatever the future holds, we're happy to cherish these innocent golden years for as long as we can. It's just fascinating to see their personalities unfold, to witness them flourishing, becoming the people they will more or less, always be. Every quirk, every cheeky moment, every endearingly crazy move they make  thrills us just as often as it exasperates us. It's so exciting to have the privilege of getting to know these precious creatures God has blessed us with to care for and love.

I just look forward to tasting the cakes Sienna makes with the CWA and hearing about how exciting it was for Ashley to go on rides that I've always been too wimpy to even contemplate.
 

Wicked Guardians Anonymous

You’ve heard of The First Wives’ Club, a ragtag group of scorned women ready to take on the world (I've never seen the movie, but I assume my summary is accurate). Now we present to you the ‘So-called Wicked Step-mothers *featuring one ‘adoptive’ mother* Club’. Or, the more succinct 'Wicked Guardians Anonymous'.

This group exists (at least in my imagination) for a reason - everyone needs support, understanding and the chance to talk to others who can relate - others who won’t judge (too much).

This is how it came to be that Maleficent (the evil fairy from ‘Sleeping Beauty’), Queenie (Snow White’s stepmother was never given a first name as such), Lady Tremaine (Cinderella’s stepmother) and Mother Gothel (Rapunzel’s ‘adoptive’ mother) gather at a groovy tavern every Thursday night for coffee, cake and the spilling of guts (not literally... always)

We recorded a portion of one of their sessions for educational purposes - to try to understand and support these women and learn why they committed such dastardly deeds. Tape recorders weren’t invented at the time so we copied down as much as we could with our trusty pen and ink (aka La Plume).

Maleficent: Sorry I'm late; my crow has a bad case of the bird flu at the moment. I have one of the henchmen watching over her tonight so that I can be here for your PRECIOUS gathering!
Mother Gothel: It's not just for us, it's for you too - you know I'm right - Mother knows best!
Tremaine: You're not even Rapunzel's stepmother! You kidnapped her, for God's sake!
Queenie: We all have reasons for our actions, don't judge so harshly, Tremaine.
Tremaine: I’ll judge if I like – after all, you poisoned your own stepdaughter!
Queenie: I least I give her time to chill out and have a healthy snack. She’s so pasty; I’m just trying to put some colour in her cheeks! I’m not half the slave driver you are with Cinderella!
Mother Gothel:  At least she keeps Cinderella safe from the big, bad world out there... unlike someone I won’t mention who plans to send her stepdaughter into the woods with a strapping Huntsman!  
Queenie: I don’t keep Snow prisoner like some guardians do with their charges! Anyway, I thought we were here to support each other. We aren’t perfect, but we all have our good points, right? It's not our fault that we’ve had to toughen up - there's so much pressure for women to stay young, isn't there?
Mother Gothel: Totally. Once I hit 25, nobody wanted to know me. What else was I to do but kidnap Rapunzel and enjoy the youth gained from her magic sun-infused hair?
Maleficent: Exactly... these young upstarts will one day learn what it's like to be over the hill, they won't be 16 forever! Unless they touch a spindle and die and become forever remembered as sixteen year olds, therefore being deemed somewhat immortal... oh shoot, what have I done?
Tremaine: It's just so hard for those who aren't young and beautiful. My biological daughters are not oil paintings by any means, and they're almost 22 - old maids! I'm simply trying to give them an advantage to get by in the world. Truth is, no one will want to marry them, and I'll be stuck with them forever. I really do hope things change in the future for women...
Queenie: Tell your daughters that marriage is overrated anyway, hon. I mean look at me – I’m a widow stuck with an irritating stepdaughter with a really annoying voice whom everyone worships. People stopped noticing how gorgeous I am once the little bimbo started to develop curves.
Mother Gothel: Everyone still thinks I'm pretty attractive and I'm 110 years old!
All others: Yeah, but you're a cheat!
Maleficent: Meanwhile, I'm ageing gracefully. I just hate being excluded from parties. Especially seeing as I cast the spell that made King Stefan and Queen Leah able to conceive Aurora in the first place! Ungrateful gits...
All gasp: Really?!

Tremaine: That's what I mean, everyone's so ungrateful. I'm just trying to give my stepdaughter some skills so she can be more than just a pretty face. I think she'd marry the first man she met though, given half a chance.
Queenie: What hope do us feminist trailblazers have? Instead of being immortalised as heroines, they'll probably portray us as nasty bitches, just to keep the movement at bay! It's a man's world and we need to be brave enough to change that!
Mother Gothel: Hear, hear! I don't let any man own me. I climb down the hair ladder every night, go out gallivanting with men, have my fun with them, then discard them. Then I climb back up the hair rope and return to my life as a single adoptive mother. I'm a strong modern, 13th century feminist pioneer if ever there was one!
Maleficent: But you wouldn't get lucky very often if you weren't sucking the power out of your kid's ridiculously long mane of hair! In fact, you'd be six feet under!
Tremaine: Just like Aurora will be soon if you manage to track her down? No judgment...
Maleficent: I don't plan to kill her! I’ve changed my mind... I just want her to know the truth about me - that I'm not a terrible person - I just got excluded one too many times. I want to tell her that she wouldn't even exist if it weren't for me. Not too much to ask, right? Maybe she’ll even invite me to her Sweet Sixteen party!
Queenie:  Maybe said doubtfully... you never know, we might get our ‘Happily Ever Afters’ too. I'm just trying to make an honest living with my apple farm, so I know what it's like to be misunderstood. Some of my apples are a bit sick-making, but I mean... that's the pesticides - you've got to keep them looking good so that people will buy them... kind of like women today. How depressing.
Mother Gothel: You said it, sister. This is why I need to keep Rapunzel up in that tower... when she's 21 I might let her take boys up there so she can be like me - love 'em and leave 'em...
Queenie: Maybe she could hang out in the woods with Snow and her chaperone.
Mother Gothel:  Erm... maybe not. Ohmigod, is that the time? I need to get back to the hair ladder... make sure she's still there. I have a bad feeling she's escaped!
Maleficent: Ugh... all these young ladies are going to end up on tissue boxes, yoghurt tubs and cold packs! I wouldn't be surprised if hundreds of years from now, little girls still dream of being like them - young, beautiful and not so bright.
Tremaine: What are yoghurt tubs?
Queenie: What's a tissue box for that matter?
Maleficent: Never mind, they’re just... I'm a fairy so I know some things about the future...
Mother Gothel: See you next week. Fight the power, ladies!
Maleficent: Bye! Waits until the door closes behind Mother Gothel Thank God she's gone. She's such a hypocrite. Feminist, my horns!
Queenie: She may not be the fairest of them all, but I must admit I envy her youthful appearance. I might ask the Huntsman if he wouldn’t mind taking her along on the bush hike as well...
Tremaine: Envy, such a wasteful emotion! Anyway, I'm off too.  The ball's tomorrow night, so I best go and make sure Cinders has done her chores. She seems to think she's going to go along too... but she's grounded for feeding the mice and encouraging them to stick around. It's disgusting, I tell you.
Maleficent: Ugh. My crow will be happy to come around and help with your rodent problem if you like!
Tremaine beaming: Thanks heaps, that'd be wonderful! I'll get Cinderella to make a bird bath so your darling can really feel at home.
Maleficent: That's the way - keep that girl of yours busy!
Tremaine: Good night. I'll tell you all about the ball next week - hopefully my daughters will be married off by then!
Queenie: Waits until the door closes behind Tremaine Ah, she's a hard taskmaster, isn't she?
Maleficent: Hmmm...why aren't I invited to the ball?!
Queenie: Ugh, here goes...
Maleficent: I hear you had the girls ‘round for apple cider last night – why wasn't I aware of that?
Queenie: Erm... I better go... (checks herself in a miniature version of her magic mirror) Have places to go, things to do!
Maleficent: Can I come or would it be beneath you to invite me?
Queenie: Must run, take care Malef!
Maleficent to lonely self: I don’t have any children of my own to run home to, just a bloody crow. No husband either. Stupid men only go for wimpy little yes-women... Oh well, at least this whole ‘search for Aurora’ thing keeps me busy...

So there you go...  hope this gave you some insight into the lives and loves of this group of complex, dynamic, irreverent, and fascinating women of history. Watch this space to find out when the ‘So-called Wicked Step-mothers *featuring one ‘adoptive’ mother* Club’ novels, movie trilogy, theme park and incontinence pads become available for purchase!

Epiphany

I've always been a budding writer. One of my major goals in life is to complete one of my many partially completed novels to my elusive satisfaction. If I had a bucket list, it would be right near the top. To be published would be a momentous bonus.

It seems a bit sad and sorry that I have an array of hidden stories on my computer at home, most of which will never be read, expanded upon or even acknowledged, despite the blood, sweat and late nights I put into them. As much as I love it, it's a lot of work to go to waste.

So to at least acknowledge that these neglected writings exist in the world, I hereby present a list of the novels/novellas/stories I've half/quarter/one-eightieth completed (in no particular order - the ones I remember, at least):

To Dance Again - the story of a hippy girl who has a guy best friend. She's in love with an older guy, but he's about to marry someone else, to keep his dying Nan happy. The best guy friend (based on a young John Cusack - how dreamy) drifts away a bit when he finds a girlfriend... um... it's all a bit clichéd, which is why I dumped it, I guess.

Besties Reunion Story (working title) - this seemed slightly original at the time, but of course it's been done to death now - the four best girlfriends get together for a holiday/reunion after one of them finally breaks up with her possessive boyfriend and organises it. There are fights, tears and tantrums... two of the characters are writing a book together - I think this was the one where that was one of the story threads. Hmmm, whatever.

Allison and Owen (working title)

A huge, ambitious epic of a novel, aka as 'put it in the too-hard basket'. Covers about twenty years of Allison's life, showing her lifelong friendship with Owen, and how other things get in the way of them getting together. It tracks her journey from timid little girl to confident, fulfilled woman. Owen looks like Seth Green in my head. Allison looks like Allison Hannigan in my head. How typical of me. One David Nicholls obviously hacked into my computer and stole this story to help him write his book. It was subsequently made into a movie called 'One Day'.  It stars Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess! Bah!

Off The Cuff (currently working on, technically speaking)The whole purpose and direction of this one keeps changing. I'm in danger of dumping it, but I've worked so hard, and I think it has potential. It's made a couple of my friends laugh in parts, and it even makes me laugh when I re-read it. I'd call that potential. It's just that this story is no longer original either - ie, shy girl has some kind of epiphany that makes her tell everything that's on her mind. I thought it could be a girlie spin on 'Liar, Liar', but then Sophie Kinsella went and jumped in with her girlie spin on ‘Liar Liar’. She's so fast at churning out stuff. It's starting to show too, just quietly. (CAT-TEE!)

Epiphany (currently working on, technically speaking)

Just decided that this Young Adult novella is called ‘Epiphany’. Also just decided that Epiphany is also the name of the daggy girl in the story. I was inspired to write this after reading Sonya Hartnett's 'Butterfly', which was sort of a dark story about a young adult that's probably more for slightly older young adults and adults. Or younger, more mature young adults. Anyways, target audiences aside, I'm also getting inspired by 'Xanadu' and 'Muriel's Wedding', so it's an interesting mish mash. Oh, and it was all triggered by a weird, slightly creepy dream I had ages ago. I don't want to say too much about it because this one feels kinda special and mysterious... let's see how I go!

And these are just the ones I can remember. Might have to go through the archives and see what else I can dig up! Could be sitting on a gold mine... if I start working on one of these again, rather than sticking to safe, quick and easy articles and editorials, poems and the odd short story! (I also love editing other people's work.) I'm a busy Mum but I'm sure I could make time... yeah, that's the spirit!

I feel like ‘Epiphany’ is my best bet... pray for me! Most of my epiphanies end up looking like plain old bad ideas... better to have written and dumped than to never have written at all!

The Dinner Party to own all Dinner Parties

It’s the classic question – the question I love to answer – which leads to the answers that define a person... well, maybe not, but it’s kinda telling. What question? Oh yeah: if you could hold a dinner party with seven guests of your choice, dead or alive - who would they be?  (And yes, let's leave family and friends, and all those kinds of folk off of the ultimate list! Feel free to assume they're there already present if you wish)

My answers are usually subject to change, but for the time being, these are my guests, people; my seven privileged fine dining connoisseurs:

1. Joss Whedon (Like, definitely)

2. Tim Burton (would love to find out what it was like for him growing up, being such a unique individual in a suburban world filled with so-called ‘normal people’)

3. Tina Fey (my favourite nerdy feminist comedienne/mother)

4 .Nick Vujijic (The limbless Christian man, whose book I’m currently reading. Would have to invite his wife too, so she could spoon feed him!)

5. Zooey Deschanel (my favourite quirky/nerdy-in-a-hip-way/ funny non-mother. She would probably leave naked, as I'd steal her clothes)

6. Bill Cosby

7. Martin Luther King Jr. (these last two have remained on the list for the last few years... I can’t go past ‘em.)

My friend Lynda made a list at my request too... it’s a good pastime on a Friday at the office, after all. We both want Joss and Tim at our respective dinner parties. She also plans to invite Sherlock Holmes, (he could solve the crime if someone was murdered at the dinner, at least!) Beethoven (he could provide the music), along with Dr Who and one of his cohorts, River Song,  and Agatha Christie’s Poirot.

If I could add an eighth guest to my doozy of a list, it might have to be Stevie Wonder... Lynda’s eighth would be Spike from ‘Buffy’. Yeah, I could totally go along with that. I’d be happy to merge our dinner parties if Lynda allowed such a thing.

Wow, we could have some really interesting dinner conversations. But what of the menu? I think we’ll need to get the caterers in – after all, I have no idea what to feed dead/fictitious people!

So, tell me, tell me now: who are your seven??

P.S.I need to expand my list I think... Robbie Williams and Russell Brand would add some colour!

A hearty Disney Princess debate

Below is a post from the blog of a woman who calls herself Madam Noire – I found her piece interesting, even if I didn’t wholly agree with it. It was a good read. I forwarded it to my husband, whose brilliant response can be found below Madam Noire’s blog post. Gotta love a good Disney Princess debate!

Madame Noire | Black Women's Lifestyle Guide | Black Hair | Black Love

From the time I was a year old Cinderella was my favorite Disney princess. This was the Golden Books story version, not the movie.  The way my parents relayed the story, Cinderella and the Prince danced round and around and around.For some reason, as a baby, I liked that image.

Then as I got older and started watching the movie I identified with the fact that she was able to escape a very bad situation and live happily ever after.  I wasn’t living in a bad situation but the story was universal. Cinderella made it out and I could respect that.  As a kid that’s all I took from the story.

It wasn’t until I got older, like during my preteen days, that I started to realize my girl Cinderella and all of her Disney princess friends weren’t sending the most realistic messages about life and love. I started to notice that for many of the princesses their entire existence centered around being beautiful and getting a man. That’s what they sang about, dreamed about and in some of their cases, struggled to obtain. You can see what I’m talking about in this illustration below:

Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be beautiful, finding a man and living happily ever after. As little girls we all wanted to be considered beautiful and live in some fantasy land with our latest elementary school crush. The problem comes in when you focus every fiber of your being on snagging the man. Becoming so consumed with him that  you forget to nurture your passions and talents. The above illustration represents some gross exaggerations. I sincerely doubt little girls were cognizant of these messages. (With the exception of Ariel from “The Little Mermaid,” even as a child I recognized the fact that baby girl had to give up everything to get the man). But that’s not the point. As little girls it takes time for us to understand the concept of self fulfillment, balancing a relationship and achieving your own goals. That doesn’t come until much later.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not a concept Disney couldn’t utilize in their lucrative movie-making empire to promote. Thankfully, somewhere along the line somebody at Disney realized this.

You want to know how I know? Two words.

Princess Tiana.

Now The Princess and the Frog wasn’t perfect but aside from the fact that she was a black woman, Princess Tiana was different from any of the other Disney princesses. Tiana had a dream, an empowering one at that. While she was gifted with the pretty domestic ability of being a good cook, Tiana wanted to own a restaurant. And while the other princesses were working toward getting the man, Tiana was working to get her restaurant. And I mean working hard. I’m not embarrassed to say that I was invested in her character. Watching her work tirelessly only to save a few pennies at the end of the day had me exhausted.

But at the conclusion of the movie what I dug about Tiana’s character was the fact that she brought something to the table. In fact, she had more on the ball than the Prince she would eventually marry. So much so that she taught him a thing or two about work ethic and drive. And he taught her something about taking time to enjoy life. Reciprocal relationships. Now that’s a story I can relate to.

And while little ones might not experience the movie on that level, please believe they notice how hard Princess Tiana worked for her dream and how her work eventually paid off. That’s a lesson little girls need to learn and I’m happy they received that lesson from Disney’s first black princess.

Getting your dream and the man. That’s the perfect definition of Happily Ever After.

I disagree with this woman being so harsh about the other princesses.

Princess Jasmine

She wasn't interested in a man; she was interested in getting out into the world. She didn't like being a princess, she didn't like men (in general ‘cause she was being set up). She just wanted to experience life which she couldn't do while she was in the kingdom. So she left, met someone that she just clicked with, mainly ‘cause he saved her and showed her a different life.

Even when "Prince Ali" came to get her, she still wasn't interested until he offered her a carpet ride because I think it sort of half clicked with her that Prince Ali might be Aladdin (‘cause he said "trust me" and she said "what did you say?"). It was the adventure she fell in love with probably more than Prince Ali.

So I think she's wrong here...

Belle

I think she's a bit harsh on Belle. Belle is a super intelligent woman who wasn't really interested in the beast but the more time she spent with him she realised he wasn't that bad, plus she was kind of helping him being better etc. so she improved his life. If she'd ended up with Gaston, then fair enough with those comments, but she didn't. She went with the ugly beast who turned into a yucky man. Yes she was beautiful and everything but who cares? That's just who she was. Was she not showing that beautiful people can be intelligent too? She didn't exactly dress all princessy prior to getting that lovely yellow dress Sienna loves so much (we all love so much). Leave Belle alone!

Ariel

I don’t know anything about this story

Aurora / Cinderella / snow white /

Aurora was happy living her life with her fairies and her animals. Yeah she probably cared a little about boys, but she'd never met any. She sang songs about dreams she had etc but i think it was probably just the shock of actually meeting a boy who was nice etc that made her like him. (It’s a bit funny ‘cause if she'd never met a boy, how would she know to dream of one? or what they'd look like? hmmm. maybe the fairies played dress ups.)

Cinderella just really wanted to escape from her world. Her step mother and step sisters were really mean to her so she wanted to escape. She knew her dad was a wonderful man and she missed him and so when there was a chance to escape with the prince she was very excited. It’s not her fault.

Snow white is crap.

In general, what she says about these is sort of true I guess. But that was the time these movies were made, they were all 50s or thereabouts, that's how the world was, that's what girls wanted until the world modernised and people became smarter and there were more things to interest girls.

With the later Disney films, like the Beasts, Aladdins etc, I think Disney have realised the world has changed and so their movies are changing also, becoming less simple and man dreamy and giving the female characters a lot more character.

Thanks Pete, you're awesome!

P.S. Watched 'The Frog and the Princess' yesterday and I have to agree with Madame Noire - it was a great movie, which sent a more positive message to little viewers than most of the Disney Princesses do! But as Pete said, that's because they're moving with the times. Princess Tiana rules!

You've Come a Long Way, Baby!

As a mother, I often find myself discussing, celebrating, boasting or at times, feeling concerned, about my children’s growth and development. Like most kids, mine pick some things up easily and other tasks present more of a challenge – which made it all the more exciting when my baby girl mastered sitting up, and my three-year-old became an expert at dressing herself.  My husband was wondering if we should start our eldest in school the year she turns five due to her obvious brilliance, but I pointed out that her social graces aren’t quite so polished. I feel proud when I watch my baby play a pretty tune on her Dora piano, and savour the feeling I get when my big girl puts her cup in the sink after she’s finished her juice.

 We revel in the joy of witnessing our children’s achievements, talents, strengths and milestones, and rightly so.

But why is it that Mums rarely stop to consider or even celebrate our own milestones, personal growth and skills acquired since becoming parents? One reason I can think of, is that we’re often too busy to even think about it. I know I’m more likely to spend my time comparing myself to the nearest (perceived) Super Mum, or cursing myself for forgetting to take that present my daughter lovingly wrapped to the birthday party, or... any number of things!

But when I allow myself to really think about it, I realise I’ve come a long way since I became a Mum over three years ago.  I’ve cause to be proud – not just of my little munchkins, but of myself. I’m no Super Mum, but I know I’m a good one.  I’ve experienced much growth and development, and it’s a continuing and fascinating journey. One well worth acknowledging (maybe even scrapbooking? hehe).

Apart from acquiring superb time management skills, and surprising myself at how committed and responsible I can be, I have matured and grown to accept myself more. I used to care too much about what people thought of me. I would bend over backwards to please people; to try to entice them to like me more than perhaps they did. Nowadays I’m too busy to fit this time-wasting endeavour into my schedule. Besides, it’s not a good example to set for my impressionable daughters – I’d hate to think they would kowtow to other kids who don’t want to play with them! I want them to see that I love and respect myself, so that they can feel the same way about themselves.

My priorities have changed for the better in many ways. I remember when I used to spend hours getting ready for some event (or most likely, a non-event), and no matter how I primped or prepared, I’d never feel quite ‘pretty enough’. There’s nothing wrong with getting glam, but when you tend to focus on your looks above a lot of other things, it can be deflating. I was never high maintenance, but it’s been an unexpected confidence boost to have limited time to get ready. It means I have to quickly choose an outfit, apply minimal make up and escape before the party’s over. Ironically, I feel more attractive and less stressed as a result. I’m too keen to get out of the house and have a good time with my friends (and yes, a break from my babies) to worry about maintaining my spray tan or my (God forbid) hair extensions or wishing I was as pretty as some other woman who probably just signed a contract with Chadwick Model Management.

Before Babies, I was always a stickler for time – it was all part of my people-pleasing persona. It’s taken a long time, but I’m starting to forgive myself for being late to just about everything. After all, everyone expects a Mum to be late to things, don’t they? I tell myself, it just means that I/we can make a grand entrance and others will count themselves lucky to be graced with my/our presence! To be fashionably late is a positive thing. I’ll admit I’m still struggling with this one... all part of the journey!

An ongoing challenge for myself and many other Mums, is dealing with the downpour of misguided advice, judgment and guilt that inevitably comes our way. Whether it comes from yourself or others, criticism in regards to parenting – the most important job in the world – can get you down. When I become caught up in this, I try to redirect my thoughts by telling myself: “I’m a great Mum – my girls are lucky to have me!”  Reminding myself of my own growth as a Mum and a woman gives me this kind of confidence when I need it most. After three-plus years of experience, I choose to trust my own judgment. After all, God chose me to be the mother to my children!

The biggest milestone in my development since having children would most certainly be becoming a Christian. Now I have the ultimate guide to steer me through the challenges of parenting and growing as a person – God! I often shoot up a quick prayer as I load the dishwasher or change a nappy. It helps me get through often chaotic, tiring days. Knowing God is there to put things in perspective is comforting. He’s the only one who can truly judge me and for that I am grateful!

So just consider this – next time you’re applauding your offspring for taking that first step, greeting that potential new friend or even just eating all their dinner – congratulate yourself as well. You’re a great Mum and an incredible woman. You’ve come a long way, baby!

10 Things I Love about You

Lately I've been hearing a lot about dysfunctional families – families dotted with a history of abusive parents, addicted parents, single mothers, absentee fathers, and irresponsible carers, as well as immature guardians, screwed up kids, lonely, scared, neglected children, estranged relatives and all the unfortunate perpetrators and victims in between.

As a parent, it reminds me that I'm not doing so badly. I know how to care for my children, show them I love them, and be there for them. There are a million other things that I could be doing, for better or worse, but the fact is, my husband and I have got those three bases covered. And they’re the ones that count.

As a daughter, it reminds me that I'm truly blessed! When you've grown up as the youngest of five in a relatively stable and harmonious environment - not always perfect, but usually pretty good - it's easy to forget how blessed you are... until you hear the stories of others not so fortunate. It's easy to complain about your parents' shortcomings, past hurts you've blamed on them, and the irritating little quirks that they have. It's easy to forget to mention their wonderful attributes.

So without further ado, I present to you a list of awesome things about my Mum and Dad (who, coincidentally have been married for forty-five years!)

1. My Dad is 79, yet he completed a 28 km bike ride earlier this year - on rough terrain, on a less-than-ideal bike! It's my favourite boast at the moment.

2. My Mum loves to collect all the teddy bears from every nook and cranny of our home and set them up in one area so that she can photograph my daughters looking cute, surrounded by teddy bears of all shapes, ages and sizes.

3. Dad says 'Over!' whenever he's finished his conversation with me on the phone. It's as though he's on a walkie-talkie. That makes it more fun. I didn’t really think about how funny that was until I saw it being made into a joke on that pommy show starring Judi Dench...

4. Back when I was a TAFE student, my folks helped me move out of my student residence to live with friends in a private hovel. It didn't work out, so two weeks later, my folks returned to Ballarat, without complaint, to help me move back to the residence again. I'll never forget that.

5. Once when I was in primary school, Mum let me wag school so that we could go down to the main drag to see some kind of parade featuring Sue and Mike (or was it Neil?) who hosted a Bendigo-based cartoon show back then (Think the Punky Brewster animated series, He-Man, Jem and the Holograms - all the classics). My grade ended up going there too, and the teacher wanted to know why I was there, rather than home in bed, sick. I didn't care; I was happy, 'cause I was there with my Mum, not a bunch of primary school students and a teacher!

6. My folks volunteer their time and care to a multitude of charities and people - Meals on Wheels, visiting elderly folk in the ICU (who are probably younger than them at times!), Mum's work at the Op Shop, manning the gates at the show, etc etc.

7. When I took the girls to Swan Hill at the weekend, sans husband, my folks insisted on meeting us half way so that they could help us reach our destination with less stress. They did the same on the way back.

8. Dad used to shine my school shoes for me.

9. I've often made my Mum laugh so much that she and I have rolled around on the floor in tears, and she's had to run to the loo. (Sorry, Mum!)

10. Dad remembers the whackiest milestones and facts, such as: 'Ashy's 500 days old today!', 'Today is the longest day of the year!' and, 'this day two years ago, we were at your house!'

And that's just a few random beautiful things about my parents. That's barely scratching the surface. Wow. Jeez, I feel nice after that.

I highly recommend writing a list of ten positive attributes - whether it's about your parent/s, your dog, yourself, your worst enemy, whoever - and just enjoying the after-glow!

I just hope my girls will do a similar thing for me and Pete someday, and maybe acknowledge that we're not all bad! One can only hope, enjoy and love.

The Silent Predator

Someone needs to say something. This hidden and truly menacing epidemic needs to emerge from the darkness, and into the blinding light of truth. I can't keep it to myself any longer. That wouldn't be right. If I keep it secret one moment more, my conscience will surely be crushed. Someone needs to say something, and that someone must be me. I am here to break the silence. What silence, you ask?

The silence surrounding the lack of Pop Culture education for certain disadvantaged children - it’s an education that needs to begin at home. There, I said it!

I wholeheartedly advocate active play, outdoor adventures, the reading of books (like, to the max) and other such healthy activities for young children and big kids alike. I even appreciate the Steiner philosophy. Still, there's a worrying aspect to all of this when the absence of movies and TV threatens to create a Pop Culture Knowledge-Deficient Individual (PCKDI).

At worst, it's an insidious form of child abuse/neglect. It seems innocuous enough at first, but it creeps up on a vulnerable young person, making them susceptible to social awkwardness and embarrassing silences. The victim seems, at times, clueless, humourless and difficult for his or her peers to comprehend.

For example: you’re in another country, let’s say Ireland. You’re at an Irish (by default) pub, having a few Malibu’s and Cokes (‘cause Guiness is gross). You peer over your alcoholic beverage to see your ex, (who is meant to be out of sight, back home in Australia) enter the room. Naturally, you say, ‘Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, he walks into mine.’ How would you and your posse react if one you responded with: ‘Uh... this isn’t a gin joint, though. It’s a pub. And it’s not yours. It belongs to us all, really, when you think about it’?

I care not whether you have or haven’t seen Casablanca. All one needs to know is that it’s a famous quote from a famous movie, that’s all. It’s not a lot to ask.*

Just had a thought... imagine how the awkwardness would mount if someone else quipped, ‘I see Dead People’. The Pop Culture Dunce would flip!

Anyway, I digress. All I’m trying to say is that a youngster needs strong foundations in life. Research shows that the first seven years are the formative ones. That gives you seven years to get your child/niece/nephew/neighbour off to a good start. Now and then, simply snuggle up on the couch with said rug rat to view any of the following classic shows: Scooby Doo (and let's leave that irritating Scrappy Doo out of it), Care Bears or The Muppet Show. When they're a bit older, with a longer attention span, be sure to move on to movie greats such as Back to the Future, Adventures in Babysitting (aka A Night on the Town) or Star Wars. (Star Wars isn't one of my faves, but it just seems wrong for impressionable youth to struggle through life not knowing who Yoda, R2-D2 and C-3PO are.)

Think about your offspring's future. How awkward will said sprog feel when he or she partakes in some kind of Uni drinking game and unwittingly halts conversation when they ask, 'Who's Seth Rogen?' during a retro showing of Knocked Up? (Not that my kids will ever play drinking games, unless they consist of nothing more lethal than red cordial). It's even worse if their peers are reminiscing over the old days of being sat in front of Yo Gabba Gabba and Lazy Town as littl’uns, and all your ignorant darling can say is 'Uh... I partook in active play as a kid...'

I don't know of many kids who don't get enough screen time, but they are out there. The proper research hasn’t been conducted as yet, but there are those who desperately need to be rescued. I've heard Mums say 'We don't watch much TV', but I've gradually learned that that simply translates as 'We watch a whole shipload of DVD's and downloads'! The children of these Mums are not in any danger.

Still, who knows how many will be affected in future?

I enjoyed a reasonably healthy combination of playing outside in bare feet and memorising the scripts of one Punky Brewster as a child, while some others of my generation were unwittingly subjected to a debilitating pop culture deficiency. Get this: I know a woman who's never heard of Weird Al Yankovic. I'm aware of a bloke who possesses no knowledge of Castle Greyskull, let alone White Castle. There are rumours of an individual who has never seen an episode of Family Ties. A good friend of mine still hasn't seen Grease! It seems criminal. I wonder how she feels when the Grease Megamix fires up at a wedding and everyone except her goes ape shit. The loneliness must be palpable.

These PCKDI’s tend to ask ridiculous questions, like, ‘What’s a flux capacitor?’ and ‘Who’s Jem, and why is she truly outrageous?’  They squirm and try to change topic when flummoxed peers stare blankly at them, obviously feeling pity. It’s heartbreaking to witness.

So, if you are a parent, step-parent, teacher, aunt, uncle, friend-of-the family, carer or concerned onlooker, make sure to check in on a child or children, who you suspect may be at risk of becoming a casualty/casualties of Pop Culture Ignorance. Do it now, before it’s too late.

Before you laugh this warning off,  just consider the potential future repercussions - I will share a sad story with you: I know of one woman who only saw Dirty Dancing for the first time last year. She watched Patrick Swayze (rest his soul) sway, Jennifer Grey leap into said hunk’s arms, heard all the wonderful music, and probably consumed some good popcorn too. Still, she concluded that it was merely ‘okay’. Sadly, it was too late for her to appreciate the brilliance of the movie. Even now, whenever someone says, ‘Nobody puts Baby in the corner’, this poor woman utters something about leaving infants in inconspicuous areas, and everybody leaves the room, pretending they didn’t hear her.

This woman is a friend of mine. Imagine how hard that is for me to think about, let alone share with you.

There is hope, however. You can break the chain of ignorance – show a shorty an episode of Shera: Princess of Power and go from there. It’s the first step...

*Just for the record, I have seen Casablanca. It’s a great movie. You should see it. Then you can quote it with authority. Just sayin’.

Sleep, Glorious Sleep

It's really happening. The fog has lifted, and the once-distant oasis in the desert is now within my sweaty grasp. Or at least, my sleep-deprived mind would like to believe. How does one grasp an oasis anyway? A question for another time...

It's been over a year since I updated this blog. I was heavily pregnant with my second child back in those heady days, so now I am busy looking after two gorgeous little girls, Sienna and Ashley. Hence, I am not heavily pregnant anymore - huzzah! Seems having two kids is more time-consuming than one in the lounge room watching ABC for Kids, and one in the tum, though! Baby Ashy turned one on the last day of July, and yes it has gone quickly. I am glad she's one now. I don't care what anyone says, in my experience so far, it only gets easier as they grow older. Sienna turned three in April and is more adoring than jealous of her little sister these days. That helps, as does the gradual disappearance of excrement-soaked onesies, spew-encrusted outfits (mine) and chewed up nipples (also mine).

I'm working two days a week now, on switchboard. It was a novelty for a while now; a nice change of scenery - something different to parenting. It's losing its shine now though. It gives me time to update my blog (ie. type this in an email and transfer to blog), but that's about it. Agh, just not my best day today. My switch buddy has taken a day off and there's not really anyone to talk to that much. People wax on about work being a place for Mums to have some adult conversation, but there doesn't seem to be any conversation at all, let alone a grown up one. I can't even get anyone to email me. It used to be a sociable place to work. Now I'm just doing my best to keep my eyes open. Must remind myself: no nappies to change while I'm here. No crying to listen to, no whingeing to put up with. Well... the latter two are debatable, but yes. I must enjoy the 'break'.
Anyway, my point is that my switch buddy, when she was here yesterday, was talking about how she's about to enjoy a long weekend, complete with sleep-ins. Me, hoping to live vicariously, was begging for details: 'How late will you sleep in? When you do get up, will you laze about for a fair while, how comfy are your pyjamas? etc, etc'. It would be my version of Fifty Shades of Grey, entitled Fifty Unadulterated, Thoroughly Detailed Musings About Sleeping In. But she just shrugged and uttered, 'I dunno'. Obviously doesn't understand the beauty and freedom in it. Doesn't get that I need to pepper my imagination with the unbridled, unrealistic fantasy of it all. And I'm referring to someone who's living with a bloke who has three sons in a shared care set up, where he gets the bigger share of the care! Like drawing blood from a stone, it is.
What about you? Had any decent sleep ins lately? Tell me all the gory details. I could be tempted to pay by the minute. My best story of late, is that I got to sleep in until 7.40am the other day, and I also had a nap later, as my lovely Mum had come all the way from Swan Hill, happily enduring train and coach, to help me look after the girls 'cause I felt crook. It was wonderful. It was a dream come true, in fact. It was bloggable, even. At least, I thought so.

Don't you worry, I've got lofty ambitions. One day I'm going to sleep in until nine-thirty. Just you wait and see. I shall grasp that oasis with both sweaty hands.